Romantic relationships do not usually end suddenly. Instead, they follow a predictable pattern of decline. A recent study by professors J. L. Bühler and U. Orth analyzed relationship satisfaction over time and identified key stages leading to separation. The findings, which were detailed in an article published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, suggest that dissatisfaction builds gradually before reaching a critical transition point. After this transition point, satisfaction declines rapidly, signaling the relationship’s imminent end.
Before the Breakup: Researchers Explore How Relationship Dissatisfaction Marks the Transition Phase Before a Breakup Based on Four Longitudinal Studies
The researchers examined data from four national studies conducted in Germany, Australia, the United Kingdom, and the Netherlands. The study used a time-to-separation approach rather than time-since-beginning. This method allowed researchers to assess how satisfaction changes as a relationship moves toward its conclusion. The findings indicate that time-to-separation is a stronger predictor of change than time-since-beginning.
The Two Phases of Relationship Decline
Findings identified two distinct phases in the decline of relationship satisfaction. The first phase, known as the preterminal phase, involves a slow decrease in satisfaction. This lasts several years, during which dissatisfaction slowly builds. Couples in this stage may not recognize the full extent of their relationship issues because the changes occur subtly over time. Small conflicts, emotional distance, and decreasing shared activities often mark this period.
The second phase, known as the terminal phase, begins one to two years before separation and involves a sharp decline in satisfaction. Separation becomes highly likely once a relationship enters this phase. Take note that only individuals in the separation group experience this terminal phase of the relationship. Those in stable relationships do not. This pattern suggests that relationship endings follow a structured process rather than occurring randomly.
Differences Between Initiators and Recipients
The study also found that the experience of relationship decline differs between partners. The individual who initiates the breakup usually experiences dissatisfaction earlier. This person moves through the preterminal phase while still engaging in the relationship. They may begin to withdraw from their partners emotionally or reduce their efforts.
Note that the partner of the initiator remains unaware of the extent of these issues. Nevertheless, in contrast to the initiator, this recipient of the breakup enters the terminal phase later. Their dissatisfaction increases more rapidly once they reach this stage, often leading to feelings of shock, confusion, or distress. Unlike the initiator, who has had time to process their emotions, the recipient may struggle to understand why the relationship is ending.
The difference explains why breakups often feel sudden for one partner while the other has been preparing for it emotionally for a longer period. The emotional impact on the recipient tends to be more intense because they must navigate both the loss of the relationship and the abrupt realization of the long-standing dissatisfaction of their partners.
Implications for Relationship Interventions
Understanding the structure of relationship decline can help in preventing breakups. Many couples seek help too late, often after reaching the transition point. Dissatisfaction has escalated to a level where reconciliation is difficult at this phase because emotional disconnection has already set in. Efforts to rebuild trust and connection may require significantly more time and commitment than if issues had been addressed earlier.
The aforementioned suggests that early intervention during the preterminal phase may improve relationship outcomes by fostering a stronger foundation before a sharp decline in satisfaction or actual dissatisfaction becomes nonnegotiable and irreversible.
Couples who recognize the warning signs early can take proactive steps to address their brewing relationship issues. Efforts like therapy, open communication, and relationship-building efforts are considered more effective when applied before the sharp decline in the level of satisfaction begins or is felt by one party. Regular check-ins and honest conversations about concerns can prevent small issues from escalating or taking root.
The decline in relationship satisfaction follows a predictable pattern. Awareness of these phases allows couples to make informed decisions about their relationships and take meaningful action before reaching the point where separation feels inevitable.
FURTHER READING AND REFERENCE
- Bühler, J. L. and Orth, U. 2025. “Terminal Decline of Satisfaction in Romantic Relationships: Evidence From Four Longitudinal Studies.” In Journal of Personality and Social Psychology. American Psychological Association. DOI: 1037/pspp0000551